This post is mostly for those who have been wondering about the little things I have mentioned about Max and for a warning to parents who might see these signs in their own children.
As you all know, Max is a very happy and quiet boy. He never really cried as a baby and has never really been loud or disruptive. From birth to 15 months, he seemed to have normal levels of communication and development. It was around the 18 month mark we noticed a difference. Max had stopped using verbal communication with me and Curtis. He still said some words to his babysitters but never used them at home. The words he would use with his babysitters were not the words he was using 3 months earlier. Words like dog and kitty were no longer of interest to him but he would say "out" if he wanted to go out. He also lost interest in looking at people.
It was very hard to get him to look you in the eye and he never responded to his name or loud sounds.
At his 18 month appointment, I mentioned my concerns to Max's Pediatrician. He tested out some of the things I had mentioned and he too gave some concerns. He connected us with a state funded group called Kids Who Count. This group helps all ranges of children with disabilities and development delays.
The main concern was Max was showing signs of Autism.
Max met with four therapists and was tested in three categories: communication, motor skills, and health. Loss of hearing was ruled out. Max can hear but chooses not to respond or his brain is not wired to respond. For example; We can be out on a walk and a dog can startle me by barking but Max thinks nothing of it. Or..I can start a bath at home and he will come running to the sound.
Max was assigned 2 therapists to come to our home twice a month to work on motor skills and communication. He loves it when they come. They always bring new toys.
About three months ago, one of the therapists was working with Max. I was over joyed to tell her of his progress. He was signing more and was making more eye contact with me. On top of that, he was learning his letters and loves it. To my astonishment she shook her head and said, "I don't mean to freak you out but that is a sign of Autism". I knew it was not normal for a two year old to know his alphabet but I just thought that meant he was really developing. Turns out Autistic children have a very long attention span and love patterns.
Of course this did freak me out. I had really turned a blind eye to autism because he had been doing so well over the last 6 months. Now I had to face it. I cried for two days because my little guy would never have the life I had dreamed he would have.
I have a cousin who's child is Autistic so I contacted her to lean what a could from an in-home expert. She let me know there is a whole spectrum for Autism. I was in the worst case scenario mind frame at the time. She let me know the spectrum is called the PDD spectrum. At the top there is the type of PDD that was featured in the movie "Rain man". In the middle is classic Autism. At the end they have PDD and most of the time this is not as bad as ADD.
My cousin, Dana, was wonderful to talk with and provided me with so much comfort and understanding of our Saviors plan for us and our beautiful children. She was very understanding when I admitted I had cried for two days. She told me her goal is to make sure her son is happy. Even though these beautiful children do not see the world through our eyes, they are closer to the Savior and are filled with his love. What more could a mother want?
A few days latter I met with Max's pediatrician for his 2 year update. We talked about Max's progress with the Kids who count program and he offered a blood test to check Max's chromosomes. We were looking for fragile X and deletions in his chromosome line.
Max's test arrived a few weeks ago and we are happy to say he failed the test. He has perfect chromosomes as far as test could tell.
Over the next month, Max continued to learn his alphabet. One day while we were in the car, Max spotted Curt's coke in the cup holder. Curtis and I were both watching the road so we did not see him signing more. To my astonishment I hear him saying "M-O, M-O". I turned around to see him frantically signing for more. He really is a smart one.
Max's vocabulary is growing everyday. He no longer avoids eye contact. At my last birthday party, he went around the circle of guests and gave everyone a big hug.
At our next meeting with the therapist, she took note of all his new progress and said Max had done wonderful. I questioned her about a diagnosis for Max and she said she could not give one at this time. They do not want to brand Max with Autism when it may just be development delays.
Max does show signs found with children on the PDD spectrum but he is very high functioning.
For example:
He loves letters and will spend a good portion of his day pointing them out to me.
His motor skills are lacking. He still will not jump with both feet off the ground.
He still ignores me about 60% of the time when I say his name. He'll ignore you too.
He is not interested in constructive time. I know no 2 year old is but he is the worst in nursery. Good luck getting him to sit on a mat by himself for even 3 seconds.
He really is a smart kid but he seems to be in his own world a lot of times.
We try not to have the TV on very often. We try to play games with him to encourage eye contact. We applaud him for learning his letters and showing them to us. He learns about one new letter every week. He has really picked up on sign language. Over the last month, he has learned at least 5 new signs.
Max can do almost everything a child his age can do. His tendencies are just a little off from most kids.
I would suggest to anyone who has any concerns with their child's behavior to talk with their Dr. and let them know your concerns. It is so important to get our children help at a young age. I have heard so many times from so many loving family members, "Oh, he's fine. I'm sure he'll grow out of it." Or, "He's just being a 2 year old". My view point is, if you have concerns, bring them up with a Dr. your are your child's voice for now. You must act in their best interest. If you feel like something might be wrong, you should check it out. You are their parent.
I am so grateful we acted when we did. With the help of Kids who count, Max is well on his way to function in a normal classroom. Who knows, with all of this help and early learning, he might be the smartest one in his class.
That is our update for now.
